| Hi, everybody. Welcome back to Ask Alisha, the weekly series where you ask me questions and I answer them, maybe. |
| Let's get to your first question this week. First question this week comes from Tamid. |
| Hi, Tamid. Tamid says, Is there any difference between I asked you to call me and I told you to call me? Yes, there is a difference. The difference is in the feeling. |
| So when we ask someone to do something, it's a request, right? The other person can say yes or no, right? If I ask you to call me, it's a request. |
| Like, will you please call me is a request, right? The person can say, yes, I'll call you or sorry, |
| I don't have time to call you. Right? So when we say I asked you to call me in past tense, |
| it sounds just like I made a request, right? And so maybe the other person, I don't know, was busy or something happened and they weren't able to do that. |
| Let's compare this to I told you to call me. |
| So when we tell someone to do something, it's like a one way kind of situation. When I tell someone to do something, it doesn't feel like a request. It feels like a demand like this is something you must do. So if I say I told you to call me, it might be somebody that is like above me at work, or maybe, maybe it's my mother, and I'm a young person, a very young person, or maybe it's someone in my life that is very like strict or maybe they're kind of a controlling person. I told you to call me. |
| So the feeling with I told you to do something is that it is not a request. The other side doesn't get to say, Oh, I was busy or sorry, I can't call you right now. There's not really space for that kind of reaction. That's kind of the feeling with I told you to call me. |
| It sounds like a demand, an order. So that's why you might hear it in a work situation from like a boss or someone above you at work or maybe in your family, someone who is kind of more senior than you in your family. |
| But if you hear this from somebody that's like your coworker or maybe like a relationship partner or a friend or something like that, it sounds more like a demand like they expected this behavior of you. Not a request, not something you can negotiate. So this is the difference with I asked you to call me and I told you to call me. |
| So I would imagine in most situations, at least for me, I would probably choose to use I asked you to call me in my daily life if I had this kind of situation, unless I was very close with the person and wanted to make a joke like I told you to call me why didn't you in kind of a joking voice. |
| That's maybe the only situation I personally would use I told you to call me in and other situations I would probably say I asked you to call me what happened, you know, wanting some more information about the other person's experience. |
| So this is the difference between I asked you and I told you one sounds like a request. The other person has maybe their own things to do. And the other one doesn't sound like a request. It sounds like an order or a demand. So I hope that this helps you understand the difference between these two. Thanks for an interesting question. |
| Okay, let's move on to your next question. Next question comes from Nova. Hi, Nova. |
| Nova says, how do we use the expression with that being said, I heard it on a TV show and the meaning wasn't clear. |
| Okay, yeah. So with that being said, is something that is used in like, meeting situations and discussion situations, when people are kind of sharing their opinions or maybe sharing a, an argument, like they're talking about maybe two or maybe three or more different sides of a topic. |
| So when people say, with that being said, it's like saying, this point has been explained. So that's what the that in that being said refers to. |
| So someone makes point A, this is a very important point. |
| And the speaker knows that, okay, we explained point A, I want to move on to the next point, they can say, with that being said, I now like to talk about point B. |
| So it's like saying, okay, now we all know this, we all have this information. |
| Now that we explained that now that we said that, so that's where the being said comes in. |
| Being said refers to the state of having been explained. |
| So in other words, the status is it was said, it has been said, it is being said, that's what we use this expression to describe. |
| So now that that has been explained, I want to talk about the next point. |
| So we use with that being said, to move on to the next part of the conversation, like the next topic, the next maybe important thing that needs to be discussed. |
| So when we say with that being said, on to the next thing, that's kind of like the maybe like a natural way to move forward in a meeting or a discussion situation. |
| So that's what this means. |
| You'll hear this a lot in TV shows and like movies, other kind of like discussion, and debate related media. |
| So I hope that this answers your question. |
| Thanks very much for sending it along. |
| Okay, let's move on to your next question. |
| Next question comes from Mohammed Sarwar. |
| Hi, Mohammed. |
| Mohammed says, what is meant by trolling someone or stalking someone? Oh, heavy question and dark question here. |
| So trolling and stalking are not good things. |
| Neither of these things are good. |
| Let's start with trolling someone. |
| So we usually use trolling when we're talking about online activities. |
| So in maybe offline activities, sometimes we use the word prank or to tease someone. |
| But in online activities, when we troll someone, we are specifically writing mean things or sometimes sort of funny things. |
| Basically, we're trying to make another person angry, or we're trying to upset another person through writing like strange comments or hurtful comments, mean comments, something like that. |
| So on Twitter, you might see like, you know, so many people trolled me when I posted my picture on Twitter. |
| So when you troll someone, it means that you're trying to make them feel bad about themselves, or you're trying to make them feel bad about the situation. |
| So it's kind of a form of online bullying. |
| So when we troll someone, it's generally not considered a good thing. |
| Occasionally, you might do this on purpose with your friends, your close friends, just kind of to tease them a little bit. |
| But when you do it online, like to strangers to people you don't know, that's when it's really considered trolling and it's a negative activity. |
| So this may or may not be connected to the second part of your question stalking. |
| So we can have online stalking and in person stalking, they both refer to the same thing. |
| So stalking refers to checking on someone's activities. |
| So that means where are they going? Who are they meeting? What kinds of things are they doing? Like what do they listen to for music, like you've tried to find out everything about the person. |
| If it's in real life, maybe some people will follow that person around, like trying to take pictures of them or something. |
| So these are both very negative activities to do to try to find everything out about somebody, and maybe use that information like to try to get close to them in many cases. |
| So you might see examples of like celebrities that have stalkers. |
| So a stalker is someone that tries to find information about a person, a celebrity, and tries to meet them or tries to become their friend or something like that. |
| So these are all negative behaviors that are socially not acceptable. |
| So people who do this are often caught by the police when they're celebrity stalkers because they try to get into celebrities houses or maybe try to do something inappropriate with the celebrity. |
| So even in cases when there's not a celebrity involved, even if it's just a normal person, these kinds of stalking behaviors are considered unacceptable socially. |
| So sometimes people who engage in stalking behaviors also do like things like trolling as well. |
| So both of these behaviors are considered very socially unacceptable. |
| To stalk somebody and to try to gather information about them or to follow them around is not considered a healthy or good behavior and it's not safe for the other person. |
| And of course trolling is also considered largely a form of internet bullying. |
| So it's not a good socially acceptable behavior either. |
| So I hope that none of our viewers do either of those things. |
| But that is the difference between trolling and stalking. |
| So trolling is usually just writing messages online and stalking refers to trying to gather information and trying to follow someone or meet someone. |
| So I hope that this answers your question. |
| I hope nobody has to deal with either of these problems. |
| But thanks very much for sending this interesting question along. |
| Okay, that is everything that I have for this week. |
| So thank you as always for sending your interesting questions. |
| Thanks very much for watching this episode of Ask Alisha and I will see you again next time. |
| Bye! |
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